It was difficult saying goodbye to the life I knew before becoming a mom.
Of course, I absolutely love being a mom. It has given me the kind of love and purpose that I could have never even imagined before. But the night I found out I was pregnant was one of the hardest nights of my life.
I’ll never forget that night of September 6, 2022. I laid down in bed, my mind racing through every possible version of what my life could be. I knew everything was about to change. My body, my mind, me. I was so scared of losing myself. My youth. My freedom. The carefree version of me that I had known for so long. I had no idea who I was on the other side of it, and it was something I had to find out day by day.
It all shifted when I heard her little heartbeat. Putting her first was the most natural thing to me. Everything I did was in consideration of her, from what I ate, to how I slept, to keeping myself in a good place mentally.
Every choice was made to nurture the tiny human growing inside me.
Looking back, pregnancy was indeed magical. Imagine having an entire human being growing inside you. Not seeing her face or holding her, just relying on feeling her move and grow. And in those quiet moments, I understood what a miracle truly was.
I guess what I’m trying to say is this: knowing that it was always going to be the two of us moving forward gave me the strength to say goodbye to who I used to be, with grace.
It was scary and hard, but it was also always my dream to be a mom. And even though it came earlier than expected, it was still my time. I’m proud that I lived through that transition as present as I could.
The Whole 9 Yards 
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