The Whole 9 Yards

I love flowers. I fill our home with flowers. Even when I didn’t have my own place, I bought myself flowers all the time.

My love for flowers began back in 6th grade. We had a three-day retreat, then when we came back to school, our school surprised us with our parents waiting for us. My dad had a beautiful boquet in his arm wrapped in blue paper and a light blue journal to match (that I still have to this day). I felt so special.

When I moved to the U.S., before having my daughter, I sent flowers to my best friends and family on their special day. It was my way of showing my love from afar. I want the people I love to feel as special as I do when someone gives me flowers.

This year I celebrated my first mother’s day. We were in the Philippines. My boyfriend, my daughter’s dad, didn’t get me anything. No card. No flowers. No nothing. There were many points in our relationship that disappointed me but this was one that broke my heart.

Moms get one day in a year to cherish our sacrifice in pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood. One day. I only get one first mother’s day ever. And he didn’t celebrate that.

To think that the day before mother’s day we were at a mall where there were flowers everywhere. I’m so protective of myself that even I reminded him each weekend leading up to that day to get me flowers, because I just knew how much it would hurt if he didn’t get me anything for my first mother’s day, and he didn’t.

My bestfriends got me a cake that had “best mom ever”, and my brothers got me cookies too. The only person who actually saw me through it all did nothing.

Life is hard. That’s a given, but shouldn’t having a partner make it a tad easier?

I wrote this a few months back. Today is March 6, 2025. And we’ve moved into a beautiful home in a different city. Everything is new, except us. My birthday and valentine’s day passed, and he still didn’t get me flowers.

…..It’s not about the flowers