The Whole 9 Yards

On this day, two years ago, my life was completely different. My world crumbled. I had just found out that I was pregnant and was scheduled to get an abortion on the 9th of September that year, 2022. I remember each day leading to that appointment felt like a nightmare. On the day itself, right when I was in line with planned parenthood, I decided to keep my baby.

It was the most challenging time of my life. I was terrified, yet in my heart, I knew it was my time to be a mom.

Those days were hard. I felt alone. The people closest to me were against my decision and were not shy about letting me know of their disapproval. Someone very important to me told me, “I thought you were smart. You’re making a stupid decision.”

On the contrary, it was the best decision of my life.

Today, on this warm morning of the 7th of September 2024, my beautiful daughter is asleep upstairs with her dad. I’ve already taken out my boys (Popoy and Peanut), and I’m sipping on my cup of coffee. I’m in our new home. It’s quiet. Peaceful. The peace I cultivated.

The months leading up to this calm morning felt like a storm that would never end—event after event. Major changes. Big moves. I had to buy a car. I had to lease this townhouse. I had to exhaust the resources I had so carefully and meticulously built. I had to postpone a goal of mine, one that I have been working on for so long. I’ve invested so much energy, money, and time into this goal. I was so close to the finish line, only to withdraw from the race at the very last minute.

A triumphant defeat.

It was during these times that I truly saw myself. I am so beautiful. I am selfless, genuine, honest, kind, brave, resilient, strong. All the words I speak to my daughter every day, I spoke to myself. Life showed me what I’m made of.

In the process of providing and making a home for my family, I’ve come home to myself.