The Whole 9 Yards

…they say.

I wake up earlier in the day to do some focused work. Feed the dogs if Jared hasn’t yet. Ideally, I would do five to ten minutes of yoga to get the endorphins kicking. I would have a moment of silence with my coffee and my thoughts before Amelia wakes up.

Realistically, Amelia wakes up around the same time I do. I give her my morning cuddles and tell her how much I love her. Good morning Amelia. My mommy hat is on. It’s like I have an on/off switch. If she’s hungry I offer my breastmilk. I take her out for some sun, greet the world good morning, and prepare her first solid food meal. In the morning, it’s either a vegetable or fruit puree. I will play with her for a while then put her back to sleep for her first nap. On a good day that will all be done by 10AM. But sometimes, Amelia’s not in the best mood, and our “morning” stretches til one or two in the afternoon.

When she’s down for a nap, that’s my time to work again. If I have extra time I’ll slip in a workout already, if not then the workout has to wait. When Mia is awake again, I breastfeed, then we read or play, depending on her mood, and then I leave her in her crib for her alone time. Even when she’s in her crib, my attention is not fully on work. She’s rolling now and I got to make sure she won’t bump her head on the railing of her crib. My intrusive thoughts are constant ever since I got pregnant.

When I clock out at 4:30, I spend uninterrupted time with Amelia. This is also my break from the day. If she takes a nap, that’s my cue to get some chores done. If she doesn’t, I put her in her bassinet, play some Bluey or Natgeo Disney for her, and then clean the house… if she lets me.

At night, I give her a bath to wash away the day. I give her a bath every night. I want her to sleep and wake up fresh. I tuck her into bed, talk to her, and read her a book. I always ask her what her favorite part of the day was. For now it’s oooh and aaahs but one day she’ll be able to verbalize her thoughts, and I know we’ll have the best conversations. Then she stares at with those beautiful little eyes smiles, then falls asleep.

On a good day, that would all be done by 10PM. Sometimes it stretches til 1AM.

It’s my turn to take a bath. I listen to my favorite podcast while I’m in the shower. Put some work into my goals. Read a book before bed or go on my phone if I have any good pictures to edit and post. Then, think about my favorite of the day then go to sleep.

Have I lost myself in motherhood? No. If anything, I found myself in it. I still work towards being the best me. Same goals, same dreams, just a lot more driven and inspired.

Motherhood is hard. Yet, despite all the bad days and mental breakdowns (lol), the joy that comes with being a mom is insurmountable.

10/20/23