The Whole 9 Yards

It’s 2:38 AM. My daughter is on my chest sleeping. I had just breastfed her, changed her diaper, and burped her. I do this every two to three hours depending on her. It has been 9 days since the birth of my beautiful baby. I’ve been on a different kind of high. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

On May 18, 2023, at 5:47 PM I made my last push then I heard her precious cry , saw her perfect face, and finally held her –everything immediately changed. I felt a rush. I felt stronger. I felt relief. I felt a love I’ve never felt before. This love was intense. I would do anything for this little human. Protecting her is the most powerful instinct I have. This was, in it’s very first moments, motherhood.

Amelia and I have an amazing connection. I’m amazed by the human body. It’s magical as it is natural. My breasts literally leak when she feeds formula and I wake up so easily to her cries.

Side story: I shared this thought with her grandmothers the other day. I thought they would relate to me cause they had children of their own, obviously, or atleast be happy for me since I had just given birth to their granddaughter. Instead I was met with what felt like almost competitive remarks. One stated that they had an amazing connection with Amelia too, while the other stated that if it wasn’t for them Amelia wouldn’t be here. Hmmmm.

What I meant to confide in your grandmothers, Amelia, was that I’m very in sync with you. We always had our own secret language ever since you were in my tummy. Our bond strengthened with every contraction during labor. You guided mommy through it all. You let mommy know when it was the right time to go to the hospital, when it was the right time to take the epidural and when it was time to push. Now that you’re here with me, our connection remains, and it only gets stronger everyday. That’s why you are such a calm baby, because you know that mommy knows what you need.

My Amelia. Everyday I wake up seeing you and I feel complete bliss. You are perfect in every way. You are my life’s greatest joy.

I love you more than life itself, Amelia Blaire.