The Whole 9 Yards

Good morning. I’ve been journalling a lot recently but I thought that I could share my introspection session with the online world on this monday morning. I am still pregnant. Tomorrow is Amelia’s due date, and I’m still hoping that my water breaks anytime today so that we won’t have to induce labor. Two weeks ago, my doctor said that 95% of babies aren’t born on their due date, so I should expect to give birth anytime within the past two weeks. I haven’t yet so.. maybe Amelia will be part of that 5%. I always loved her due date though, 16 is such a pretty number, and it used to be my family’s number when my parents were still together.

I did go to the hospital a few nights ago because my contractions were getting intense, but they sent me home because I was only 1.5 CM dilated. Since then, I’ve been watching the liquid coming out down there, making sure it isn’t amniotic fluid leaking. So far, it’s still pee. I also have a hard time pooping because now that I’m literally a day away from our due date, I’m afraid I might accidentally push the baby out.

My mom’s been telling me to have sex. I’ve been reading a lot about how to induce labor normally and that comes out a lot. But personally, I’m not comfortable in having sex because we tried it once a few weeks ago and it hurts too much… but doing it now I’m also scared to get pregnant again right away. So sex won’t be in the cards for a few months. I’ve been trying the yoga positions to induce labor too which help my back aches but I don’t think it’s doing anything to speed up my labor.

So how am I feeling? Physically, my body is aching everywhere. My feet and hands are swollen, my back hurts, my legs hurt, my contractions come every time I walk, and everytime I look in the mirror I just don’t look like myself anymore. It’s okay though, just a little more sacrifice until I meet my little one. It’s all worth it.

Emotionally, I’m so ready to meet my baby. There are no words for how happy I am to enter this new chapter of my life. I’m excited to start motherhood because I know this has always been what’s meant for me. I’m ready. And there’s no doubt in my mind that I’ll be an amazing mother.